So tiday to do errands and distract myeslf and my fears of tomorrow....First a quick lunch at my fave New Mexican Restaurant... Mi Corazon.... A superb soup chips and heme done Sallsa and hot black Coffee Terrif and chatting with the owner about his Aunt who is Tia's  second Mom.... Then off to costco for some supplies and a prescription refilled... then home with my Car dog MaxaMillion...OK was brave .... then eating another bite more soup I got to eat this evening... then the fear sets in again  took my BP medicine and later the 3rd BP medicine... then washed daumants old robe so Max and Poocho will have good warmies place to sleep..... Fears got worse and  I got nice FB things from Mary and pokes from Glenda and Maria  lovely people caring Maria is a photographer-Artist!! Then a half Lorapazam to sleep.... oh sure! Lynn and Mo are picking me up at 6AM to get to UCLA!!! for probably what will be one of the most telling dayg of my mere 82 years..."To Be on Not To Be, That is the Question"I know at my age , i don't deserve to take up space on the planet according to the politically correct gang.... BUT My mind is better tthan ever, my hands are too , The Music  create is VERY different!!! And I am not ready to turn it over!!! I Love Life, my Friends My incredible Son and his Brittiant Sensitive wife I love my Dogs and my horse.... No not ready to say goodbye ....yet.... I hope the news the first oncologist is true.... that he wasn't a farce like my so called "Primary care Doc" Dr. Quacko!!! Who never examines  female senior citizens because he says they don't want those exams... Well, then, Dr. Quacko, how bout a yearly reminder? As your patients we take our cues from you... you do not just stand there  batting your eyes then leave without finding is something is wrong! And so I try to sleep tonight so I can function tomorrow .... I will try again.... feel the warmth of  my little Piccolino afainst my calf and Tia comes over to lick my fingers whenever she senses I am fretting.... And I know my Great Patriot Friend McGuffee Cathe is somewhere in the night in Baltimore fretting for me, too, and I know Maurice and Lynn are trying to get some sleep, to make the considerable trip up here to take me .... I humbly ask for your prayers and you positive thoughts!!  god Bless you ALL and dont put off your Breast exams and "Not Knowing is Way Worse than Knowing, get it ? BYW Men get this, too!!!